Bob-net Never Dies

Our fair college is losing its men’s basketball coach. Walt Corbean is making a considerable vertical leap, accepting the director of basketball operations position at Wake Forest.

Impressive.

Things that have caught my wandering eyes this week:

- Beardness weirdness
- London street gang names
- Skull fracture (not gross)
- “It stretched for 30 miles out into the Pacific …”
- I like the ones made from fuses.
- This guy is awesome.

“Radhe Radhe,” Kula Shaker
“How Long Has This Been Going On,” Ray Charles
“Cherry Blossom Girl,” Air
“Success,” Iggy Pop
“Under My Thumb,” The Rolling Stones
“Don’t Rob Another Man’s Castle,” Eddy Arnold
“Hong Kong Garden,” Siouxsie & The Banshees
“The King Of Rock ‘N Roll,” Daniel Lioneye
“The State Of The Union,” Thievery Corporation
“September Song,” Willie Nelson

I love it when I get emails like this from my mom.

From: Vicki Neville
To: Neville, James R
Sent: Wed 8/29/2007 1:42 PM
Subject: coffin

The [Corydon High School] shop has a coffin that a student made last year for sale. It’s $75 .
It’s oak with walnut trim and has handles. It’s big enough to hold a
six foot person. I know it’s a lot of money, but I thought I would let
you know since you are really into the Halloween thing.

Love, Mom

A little steep, but Halloween is just around the corner.

By the way, Courtney and I are forming an exploratory committee to determine the feasibility of a Halloween party. We have a wedding on the 27th. Could everyone make it on the 20th?

Hey kids! Remember the good ol’ Bob-net Caption Contest? Well, it’s back! Kinda.

Say hello to the Cutline Party. It’s just like the old contest with the following exceptions:

- We’ve changed the name. Technically, we’re dealing in cutlines, not captions. So let’s call a spade a spade.

- There are no winners. It’s no longer a contest, which shouldn’t be a big deal as there were never really prizes to begin with.

So just think of the Cutline Party as your opportunity to say something funny about a funny picture while inspiring others to do the same. Dig? Good. Here we go.

Original: Peter Wiggins, of I.M. Chait gallery, puts the ancient fossilized walrus penis on display in Beverly Hills on Thursday, Aug. 23, 2007. The gallery sold the ancient fossilized walrus penis during their natural history auction Sunday. [Associated Press photo by Kevork Djansezian]

An old Bob-net friend is coming back this afternoon. Be ready.

Let’s say you just won a multimillion-dollar lottery. What are your first five purchases?

Make these actual material things. No charity donations or feeding the hungry. This is all about stuff for you.

I’ve been meaning to post a little something about Miss Teen South Carolina, but everything I type seems too mean. It’s hard to pile on a girl already suffering from a major public brain fart when there are so many more “important” people who say stupid things nearly every single day.

That being said, I do think this map is funny.

As C. Monks has pointed out, holding a beer festival near a bear cage is a bad idea.

OK, folks. Small audience on this one, but it’s of astounding significance to those in the know.

Check out this screenplay about the 1974 tornado outbreak. And enjoy this particular exchange:

TONY
(slurring his words)
“Goddamned tornado sure made a mess of things!”

BODDICKER
(looking around the bar)
“Maybe for some. But it sure is boosting business around here.”

TONY
(taking another shot of Jim Beam)
“It may be boosting business in my line of work. The media is having a field day covering all of this. Photographers, every goddamned news reporter, and all! I even had that bastard Richard des Russeaux out taking a look at the damaged areas.”

BODDICKER
(a bit surprised by the remark)
“What’s so bad about des Russeaux?”

TONY
(obviously intoxicated)
“He’s a fucking idiot! And his articles suck!”

BODDICKER
(putting an empty glass away)
“Dude, I think you’ve had enough.”

If any of this means anything to you, you’re welcome. You’re so very, very welcome.